Saturday 27 December 2014

Cut Short.


Mother: How was your day?

Son: Good. Today, we had a function at school. It was fun. There was also a career guidance session. They asked us lots of questions about what we want to pursue after school, what we dream of becoming one day. I was thinking, can I be a scientist? I mean, I know I have to work very hard on my Math, but do you think I can do it? 

Mother: Of course you can. You can do anything that you put your heart to. Now, change your uniform quickly. I have made Biryani for you.

The lanky boy smiled and walked towards his room, his school bag hanging on one shoulder. 

Is it too simple a story? Maybe.


But, a cold, silent Peshawar home desperately wishes that, the afternoon of 16th December 2014 had turned out to be this simple. 

Sharp Edged Knowledge
(Picture Courtesy: Internet)

Wednesday 26 November 2014

November er Nesha.


Reasons I am hopelessly in love with November:

·     Because the month opens with consecutive birthdays of best friends. Much like animated heroes exuding the golden glow of their superpowers, I exhale all the love out of my body and rely on the clouds to play the faithful postman. They drift along and touch the other two points of the huge triangle that our distances create on the country map. Before the day ends, they come back to me, their backs bent, with double doses of glee, hugs and smiles. The saying, “love is in the air”, now makes sense, doesn’t it? :) 

·     Because it’s a bye-bye to Kolkata special ghaam and a welcome to three months of living in an air conditioned city. Also, hello to long lasting blow dry effects. 

·     Because there is an unexplainable child like delight in doodling on the fogged up bathroom mirror. From letters to names to patterns to hijibijis and finally letting the nose tip replace the fingers. (I think I now know the reason behind my partially broken nose).

·     Because November marks the birthday of Mr. Shah Rukh Khan. I needn’t say more. 

·     Because no other month brings smells as nice as November. The cold concrete soaking up the early morning sun. Peeled orange skin. Woollens taken out after a year of hibernation. Boiled vegetables with mayonnaise. Winter care body lotion. The misty dusty evening breeze. Steam from a bowl of chicken soup. I wish smells could be recorded and played on loop. 

·     Because the handbag has a new guest - Lip Balm.  Although, there is an obscene amount of pleasure in biting those little pieces of skin off your lips, there is also a huge sense of smugness in wearing your new green apple lip balm and smacking your lips around like an obnoxious duck. 

·     Because it is time to bring out the colourful bundle of scarves. On a trip to Shillong few years ago, I bought an extremely plump and woolly scarf. Once you wrap it around yourself, it not only protects the neck but it also gives you the cosy privilege of dipping your chin and ears into it, much like how you need to sink yourself if you get caught in Devil’s Snare (Meant only for Harry Potter fans). The scarf’s purple sister was gifted to someone who made an internship feel like a much needed vacation. 

·     Because the day dreams are all about planning your outfits for the much awaited weddings. Also because, three girlfriends are celebrating their last maidenhood November. (P.S. - winter weddings are the best). 

·     Because there is nothing as soul warming as cupping your hands around a glass of cutting chai. We often complain that the One above has no time to look into our grumbles and He is busy with bigger, more important stuff. Well, maybe yes. But I’d also like to believe that He definitely had the time to ensure a glove fit of the glass and our palms. Itni si khushi, itni si hasi?

·     Because the dates 1/11, 2/11, 15/11 & 20/11 prove to me time and again that Scorpions and Sagittarians are like rum and coke, like sizzler with smoke, like college and being broke. Okay, I am in lousy rhyming mode. But I love these blokes. And, they alone bear my pathetic jokes.

·     Because the chilly feeling is directly proportional to the calories added. Be it pork vindaloo, cheese fondue or chocolate ganache pastry – the weather just calls for it! And nothing better to hide the eye-catching face of those calories than an oversized hoodie or the mother’s Kashmiri shawl. November has its camouflaging benefits, I tell you! 

·     Because nothing can cheer you up better than a bright pair of socks (not the boring ones men wear to work). Pink & peach striped, yellow with green polka dots, white with a print of blue toy trucks, solid black with a red piping. One can never be bored of having too many. You know what’s better? You can always mismatch them! When the back hurts against the office swivel chair and the desktop screen goes blurry, just take a look at your feet. The left orange will wink, the right purple will wave and your mouth will take the shape of a ‘D’. 

·     Because nothing beats going to sleep with your hands intertwined and knees curled into your stomach; secure inside the womb of the blanket. Peace, comfort and warmth till the umbilical cord is broken by the ruthless alarm clock. 

·     Because it is the best month to roam the nooks and crannies of New Market/do early morning photo shoots/devour poori sabji jalebi/make a dark room and watch movies on the laptop/gorge on fish cutlet and beer/listen to country music/read Ruskin Bond all over again/rummage through black and white photographs. 

·     Because it marks the beginning of the best time of the year. Like the say, save the best for the last. 

·     Because November also marks the birthday of yours truly and she loves the kisses, surprises AND presents (Yes, she is greedy. And proud of it too).


As Aunty Acid says, “I can’t get out of bed. The blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust.”


Happy November Folks!

Wednesday 29 October 2014

The Interview.


Boss:  How many years of experience do you have?

Candidate: 18 years, Sir.

Boss: Why did you resign from your earlier profile?

Candidate: It was unfair Sir, there was no motivation and I never got my due.

Boss: Hmm, but as far as my records go, I have never received any negative feedback about the name you were associated with. Did the problem lie with you?

Candidate: My peers had much better incentives, which were never offered to me. Maybe I was over demanding, but I wanted to be at par. Is it wrong to expect equality Sir?

Boss: Equality can only be amongst equals. If I am not wrong, you had threatened your seniors quite a few times in the past, following which they always gave you a raise because they valued you. Despite that, you abruptly quit when your excessive demands were not fulfilled. All of this portrays you in a very negative light, you know.  Anyway let us get to the point, what are you expecting this time?

Candidate: I have no expectations, Sir. My decision to quit was rash and I repent it. I didn’t understand my priorities. I would just be greatly obliged if I am given another opportunity to prove myself, on whatever terms you consider fit.
 
Boss: Well, taking your past record into consideration, I have to say that the package I can offer you will be almost half of what you had previously. However, I assure you that you will be eligible for bonuses depending on your performance. In short, it will not be as smooth as it was earlier. Is that acceptable to you?

Candidate: Yes Sir. Thank you once again. I promise not to disappoint.

Boss: Fine. You may join duty from tomorrow. I hope it is a learning experience for you. 

 
Somewhere far down, in a quiet little apartment, a mother came into the empty room of a teenager, with flowers and incense sticks. She faced a life-size poster of a Royal Enfield Bullet adorning his wall, and then turned around to look at her 18 year old, staring longingly at the bike through his photo frame. Few floors below, the guard's wife went into labour.